No really, it's definitely a secret

Exile awaits! Well, somewhat. Around 4:30 PM, your husband will return home. When he does, you will only be allowed in the bedroom and bathroom for an allotted time. You may take your laptop and any other accoutrement, of course, but presence in the living room and kitchen is strictly disallowed.

After ... events transpire, we will depart for an engagement at 5:45 PM. If appropriate garb is required, make sure you provide yourself enough time!

Details can be requested by carrier pigeon.